Withdraw your desire from what is not up to you…

Donald's Commentary on The Handbook of Epictetus #2

Remember that the promise of desire is the attainment of what you desire, that of aversion is not to fall into what is avoided, and that he who fails in his desire is unfortunate [i.e., feels he misses out on good fortune], while he who falls into what he would avoid experiences misfortune.

If, then, you [seek to] avoid only what is unnatural [i.e., unhealthy] among those things which are under your control, you will fall into none of the things which you [seek to] avoid; but if you try to avoid disease, or death, or poverty, you [cannot and so] will [feel as though you] experience misfortune. Withdraw, therefore, your aversion from all the matters that are not under our control, and transfer it to what is unnatural [i.e., unhealthy] among those which are under our control.

But for the time being remove utterly your desire; for if you desire some of the things that are not under our control you are bound to [fail to achieve them sometimes and so] be unfortunate; and, at the same time, not one of the things that are under our control, which it would be excellent for you to desire [i.e., perfect wisdom and virtue], is within your grasp. But employ only choice and refusal, and these too but lightly, and with reservations, and without straining. — Epictetus, Enchiridion 2, italics and paragraph breaks added

Comment

The Stoics believe that when we judge something to be intrinsically good we naturally desire it and commit ourselves to the wish that we should attain it. On the other hand, when we judge something bad or harmful we develop an aversion and desire to avoid it. When our desires and aversions are thwarted our lives go badly so we should be careful what we wish for. As this is inevitable, given that nothing external is completely under our control, we must learn to manage our desires and aversions if we want to flourish, and for our lives to go smoothly.

Stoics don’t judge external setbacks in a strongly negative way because they would be setting themselves up for failure insofar as these aren’t under their direct control.

Stoics focus on avoiding doing things under their direct control badly, or viciously, something they should always be able to achieve. They don’t judge external setbacks in a strongly negative way because they would be setting themselves up for failure insofar as these aren’t under their direct control.