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David W. Zoll's avatar

This is a fascinating deep dive. The first phase is so important. I think we can develop the ability to stay in that first phase and then choose to avoid the second, rather then let the cascade continue. No matter how "just" we may believe our anger, it has no value and can only harm ourselves and others. Most of the time, perhaps all of the time, the source of our anger can be found within, if we just stop and analyze. One of the best maxims is this: "I never give anyone else the power to make me angry." Thanks again for a great article.

Percy Yarrow's avatar

Sometimes the most dangerous anger is the one that can't retaliate against its actual cause, and gets discharged downward onto someone weaker. A partner, a child, anyone who can't push back.

What follows almost inevitably is rationalization: the target gets recast as "provoking it" or "needing to learn," and displacement gets laundered as discipline.

Then the loop tightens. Next time, the discharge onto the same weaker person comes faster.

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