It is not things that disturb us. . .

Donald's Commentary on The Handbook of Epictetus #5

It is not the things themselves that disturb men, but their judgements about these things. For example, death is nothing dreadful, or else Socrates too would have thought so, but the judgement that death is dreadful, this is the dreadful thing. When, therefore, we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never blame anyone but ourselves, that means, our own judgements. It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete.

Commentary

The opening sentence of this passage is almost certainly the most famous quotation from Epictetus. It was taught to therapy clients by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) and became a common part of the “socialization” (orientation) process in subsequent cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). Clients might just be told about it but it was, and still is, often included on handouts given to them at the start of therapy.

The truths of Stoicism were perhaps best set forth by Epictetus, who in the first century A.D. wrote in the Enchiridion: ‘Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them.’ – Albert Ellis

This isn’t really the most fundamental teaching of Epictetus. That’s probably the opening sentence of the first passage, which as we saw earlier deals with the distinction between what is up to us and what is not. However, it’s perhaps a close second, as variations of this teaching recur frequently throughout the Discourses of Epictetus.