I think, too, there are experts who give us important information we ourselves lack but worrry about and that can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. Outside experts may have analytic financial skills or building or plumbing skills or in a recent case for me, pest control know-how, who step in and help allay fears. Handing off things to experts who have expertise I lack, can be extremely liberating psychologically.
2. I get a sense of overwhelm, like that is a physical thing that will overrun me in a catastrophic situation, but I forget the times in the past where I've felt that in response to an actual situation...but have taken small steps forward in that moment...to end up getting through it, and often being a lot better off for it?
So just remembering something I did get through that was hard, just after rehearsing the thing I'm anxious about now, that shifted the perspective on it. (going through the guided exercise the past event just came to me when you talked about how other people might handle it)
Yes, that's a good strategy. What you're doing is improving your appraisal of your coping ability, which is often diminished during worrying about catastrophes. It's useful to directly assert to yourself, e.g., "This may be difficult, but I can cope with it, because I've coped with similar things in the past. Bit of trivia: That's actually the self-instruction strategy that Odysseus uses in Homer's Odyssey, perhaps the earliest example in ancient literature.
“Endure, my heart! You once endured something still more terrible, on the day when the Cyclops, irresistible in his violence, devoured my strong companions. Yet you held out until cunning brought you from the cave, though you expected to die.”
So if Odysseus can do it, so can you! Today, we'd typically build an attitude of high frustration tolerance by repeatedly affirming, under stress, something like "This may be unpleasant but it's not unbearable; I can cope", etc.
2. I realised that when I imagine a worst case scenario and visualise myself in it, it turns into an ordinary experience. But then my mind jumps to a new catastrophic scenario that I feel like I can't tolerate. But eventually, I find myself adapting to the situation and handling it somehow. I guess what traps me in a loop is that I expect myself to handle it perfectly.
Yes, one easy solution to that may just be directly coaching yourself through self-instructions to accept your imperfection, e.g., telling yourself "I would prefer to handle this perfectly, but I don't always need to; I accept that I'm perfect, and have the potential to getter better at coping with practice."
I feel like imposter syndrome, and perfectionism tendency are quite closely related. I think the practice in this mini-series will help to remember that I am able to cope with things, but this self-talk to say "it doesn't have to be perfect is a good addition in my case too.
1, letting myself get drawn into ruminating on worst-case. Good risk managers consider the entire spectrum of possibilities and what a reasonable response might be, as well as things one can do to mitigate. In my case was thinking about stock market drop. Thinking through it made me realize that there are many things I love that are inexpensive, nature-oriented, and done with a community, a community going through the same thing together and supporting each other. Some of these, like gardening can help make one more resilient too.
Sometimes it's possible to replace the habit of rumination with problem-solving, if the worst-case is something you need to consider in detail. Also managing the time/context in which you think about it can make it easier to modify the style of thinking.
It starts with 1 - catastrophizing but then 2 - underestimating coping ability and 3 - not recognizing the most likely outcome, are locked and loaded. I found deliberately working through these stages in advance was particularly helpful. In the past I have tried to avoid thinking about this situation, chastising myself for ruminating on an event that has yet to occur. The structured approach is very different to rumination and I feel better prepared.
I focus too much on the worst case scenario and think/feel that my coping ability is nonexistent. I tend to get anxiety when I anticipate a situation where I may feel anxious or appear anxious (e.g. flushed face, sweat on my forehead, shaky hands). When this occurs I tend feel that the sensations of anxiety are unbearable. This then leads to tunnel vision, where I find it difficult to imagine a different perspective.
I have been known to do all of these, but #3 resonates with me a lot right now. The biggest thing that has helped me is taking the time to review what happened during the event and compare that to what I was worried about going to happen. Since starting this after the fact review, I have learned that I am not as good at projecting outcomes as I thought I was. This has allowed me to see more positive likely outcomes based on historical facts.
The distinction between an event and our evaluation of the event is something ive always loved to explore. I've been thinking about whether this goes even further than catastrophising. We seem to do this constantly: good, bad, successful, unfair, embarrassing, they're often presented as properties of an event when they're actually judgements we've added afterwards. I wonder whether psychological flexibility partly comes from becoming conscious of just how much meaning we're continually placing onto otherwise neutral events. Ive written about this a little myself!
I think, too, there are experts who give us important information we ourselves lack but worrry about and that can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. Outside experts may have analytic financial skills or building or plumbing skills or in a recent case for me, pest control know-how, who step in and help allay fears. Handing off things to experts who have expertise I lack, can be extremely liberating psychologically.
2. I get a sense of overwhelm, like that is a physical thing that will overrun me in a catastrophic situation, but I forget the times in the past where I've felt that in response to an actual situation...but have taken small steps forward in that moment...to end up getting through it, and often being a lot better off for it?
So just remembering something I did get through that was hard, just after rehearsing the thing I'm anxious about now, that shifted the perspective on it. (going through the guided exercise the past event just came to me when you talked about how other people might handle it)
Yes, that's a good strategy. What you're doing is improving your appraisal of your coping ability, which is often diminished during worrying about catastrophes. It's useful to directly assert to yourself, e.g., "This may be difficult, but I can cope with it, because I've coped with similar things in the past. Bit of trivia: That's actually the self-instruction strategy that Odysseus uses in Homer's Odyssey, perhaps the earliest example in ancient literature.
“Endure, my heart! You once endured something still more terrible, on the day when the Cyclops, irresistible in his violence, devoured my strong companions. Yet you held out until cunning brought you from the cave, though you expected to die.”
So if Odysseus can do it, so can you! Today, we'd typically build an attitude of high frustration tolerance by repeatedly affirming, under stress, something like "This may be unpleasant but it's not unbearable; I can cope", etc.
2. I realised that when I imagine a worst case scenario and visualise myself in it, it turns into an ordinary experience. But then my mind jumps to a new catastrophic scenario that I feel like I can't tolerate. But eventually, I find myself adapting to the situation and handling it somehow. I guess what traps me in a loop is that I expect myself to handle it perfectly.
Yes, one easy solution to that may just be directly coaching yourself through self-instructions to accept your imperfection, e.g., telling yourself "I would prefer to handle this perfectly, but I don't always need to; I accept that I'm perfect, and have the potential to getter better at coping with practice."
I feel like imposter syndrome, and perfectionism tendency are quite closely related. I think the practice in this mini-series will help to remember that I am able to cope with things, but this self-talk to say "it doesn't have to be perfect is a good addition in my case too.
1, letting myself get drawn into ruminating on worst-case. Good risk managers consider the entire spectrum of possibilities and what a reasonable response might be, as well as things one can do to mitigate. In my case was thinking about stock market drop. Thinking through it made me realize that there are many things I love that are inexpensive, nature-oriented, and done with a community, a community going through the same thing together and supporting each other. Some of these, like gardening can help make one more resilient too.
Sometimes it's possible to replace the habit of rumination with problem-solving, if the worst-case is something you need to consider in detail. Also managing the time/context in which you think about it can make it easier to modify the style of thinking.
It starts with 1 - catastrophizing but then 2 - underestimating coping ability and 3 - not recognizing the most likely outcome, are locked and loaded. I found deliberately working through these stages in advance was particularly helpful. In the past I have tried to avoid thinking about this situation, chastising myself for ruminating on an event that has yet to occur. The structured approach is very different to rumination and I feel better prepared.
I focus too much on the worst case scenario and think/feel that my coping ability is nonexistent. I tend to get anxiety when I anticipate a situation where I may feel anxious or appear anxious (e.g. flushed face, sweat on my forehead, shaky hands). When this occurs I tend feel that the sensations of anxiety are unbearable. This then leads to tunnel vision, where I find it difficult to imagine a different perspective.
2
1.
I have been known to do all of these, but #3 resonates with me a lot right now. The biggest thing that has helped me is taking the time to review what happened during the event and compare that to what I was worried about going to happen. Since starting this after the fact review, I have learned that I am not as good at projecting outcomes as I thought I was. This has allowed me to see more positive likely outcomes based on historical facts.
2
The distinction between an event and our evaluation of the event is something ive always loved to explore. I've been thinking about whether this goes even further than catastrophising. We seem to do this constantly: good, bad, successful, unfair, embarrassing, they're often presented as properties of an event when they're actually judgements we've added afterwards. I wonder whether psychological flexibility partly comes from becoming conscious of just how much meaning we're continually placing onto otherwise neutral events. Ive written about this a little myself!