Having recently finished work on How to Think Like Socrates, I’m delighted to announce that, in addition to the
and other existing projects, I’ll be focusing on what I believe to be the most important question facing our society today: the problem of anger.I was a cognitive-behavioural psychotherapist, specializing in treating anxiety disorders, but over the years I have increasingly spent more time writing books about Stoic philosophy. (How to Think Like Socrates is my ninth book.) For many years, I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to focus on a specific psychological and social problem, to which Stoic philosophy can be applied. I think it’s often a good idea to return to your roots but approach things from a new perspective.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time. – T. S. Eliot, Four Quartets
While I feel that writing in general terms about Stoic philosophy and self-improvement can benefit many people, based on my experience, more tangible benefits can be achieved by targeting a more specific problem. I’ve chosen to look at how Stoicism can help us overcome our own anger, and deal with the anger of others.
In my opinion, anger represents one of the great psychological epidemics of our time, and its impact on our personal lives, our relationships, and society in general, has been vastly underestimated. Anger can destroy friendships, end marriages, alienate children from parents, in extreme cases it can lead to acts of aggression, and even suicide and murder. Anger can become the catalyst for individuals to commit crimes, for outraged mobs to engage in wanton violence, and in some cases it may even lead to warfare and atrocities such as genocide.
Anger can seem like a more serious problem than other unhealthy emotions because of the risk that violence poses to other individuals and society in general. However, it also presents a special problem because angry people tend to avoid trying to help themselves, or seeking help from others. Psychotherapists often talk about three broad categories of unhealthy emotion: anger, fear, and sadness. Individuals who are anxious (fear) or depressed (sad) tend to blame themselves, turn their attention inwards, and, in many cases, that can motivate them to explore self-help or seek therapy. Angry people are different because they are much more likely to blame others, and turn their attention outward.
For that reason, we seldom see individuals in therapy whose main presenting problem is anger. (Of course, we do see clients with issues like depression or PTSD, where anger is a secondary aspect.) For this, and other reasons, the problem of anger has been relatively neglected not only by therapists but by the self-help sector in general. Stoics, such as Epictetus, were clear that the tendency of angry people to blame others, places them in the worst possible position in relation to their own moral and psychological self-improvement.
When then we are hindered or disturbed or grieved, let us never blame others, but ourselves, that is, our opinions. It is the act of an uneducated man to blame others for his own misfortune; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed [in Stoic philosophy], to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose education is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself. — Epictetus, Enchiridion, 5
Since the time of Socrates, nevertheless, self-improvement “experts” have preyed on the vulnerabilities of young men in particular by actually fueling their anger and outrage, and actively encouraging them to blame others for their problems. This problem is especially pronounced today on social media, in the “manosphere”, where a toxic combination of aggressive political rhetoric and pseudoscientific self-improvement advice has flourished.
There are, however, many important works, and remarkable pieces of research on anger. We have excellent cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) protocols for anger. It’s my belief, though, based on my experience training other psychotherapists, that we could significantly improve our approach to tackling anger by combining the best available psychological research with ideas from classical philosophy. We have, of course, an entire book by Seneca on the Stoic psychotherapy of anger, called On Anger, which survives today. Anger is also one of the main themes of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, and it is likewise addressed in other important classical texts, such as Plutarch’s On the Control of Anger.
Yet the other passions, even at their height, do in some sort yield and admit reason, when it comes from without to the rescue, into the soul; but temper… shuts out sense completely and locks it out.. — Plutarch
The Stoic position on anger was traditionally contrasted with that of Aristotle and his followers. The Aristotelians believed that moderate anger could be justified and healthy. The Stoics adopted a more radical position, arguing that when anger is understood more in terms of its effect on cognition, or thinking, it’s harder to see how it could ever be truly healthy. Anger, the Stoics claimed, typically conceals a desire for revenge, and the belief that the other person has acted unjustly and therefore deserves to be punished. This reasoning, however, can lead us to underestimate the harm caused, both to ourselves and others, by attempting to “teach this guy a lesson!” by inflicting very severe punishment. As Marcus Aurelius, and other Stoics, put it: our anger often does more harm to us than to those with whom we’re angry.
The Stoic position might appear radical at first but it actually makes the process of therapy and self-improvement much simpler and, I believe, has the potential to make it more effective. Every angry person believes that their anger is righteous and justified, and the more angry they are the more they are convinced they are in the right and everyone else is wrong. So it can be extremely difficult for them to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy anger in practice. The Stoics approach simplifies this by encouraging us to challenge all forms of anger, and look for a more rational, moderate, and healthy alternative. In addition, the Stoics suggest many therapeutic techniques and concepts, which, it seems to me, have the potential to augment existing CBT protocols for anger management.
I’ve actually been working on the problem of anger for many years, to some extent since I first became interested in Stoicism, and began training in psychotherapy, around 25 years ago now. Below you can see a TEDx video that I recorded three years ago, in which I provide a very concise outline of the Stoic approach to anger.
Writing
I’ll be writing more articles about the philosophy and psychology of anger, in addition to my usual output on Stoicism and related topics. I’m working on a proposal for a new book, which will be different from the articles you see me writing, although they’ll be linked to the research I’m currently doing.
Research
I’m looking at the possibility of working with a team of psychologists to carry out some original research on the problem of anger, drawing on elements of CBT and Stoicism, to inform a new approach. I’ll keep you posted about this, but please feel free to get in touch with me if you’re interested in being involved.
Coaching
I published two new books this year. Because I was so busy writing, I had to temporarily suspend my CBT-based coaching practice but I have now resumed doing remote sessions via video call. I’ll be focusing on issues related to anger, as that’s now my main area of research, although in the past I was an anxiety specialist. I’ve worked in many different environments, helping people with different psychological problems, although now I typically offer coaching for everyday problems and mild to moderate (subclinical) emotions and habits. Please feel free to get in touch if you’re interested in coaching sessions.
How You can Help
Please feel free to comment on this post. Share your experiences with anger (your own or that of others), strategies you’ve found helpful in the past, advice you’d offer others, and any questions you might have about the topic. I’d love to know about the biggest challenges you’ve faced with anger, and what you might hope to learn from a book like the one I’m going to be working on.
You can also subscribe to my Substack newsletter, if you haven’t already, in order to stay updated on this project.
Regards,
Donald Robertson
Hi Donald
I'm really interested in your work on this.
I work as a psychiatric nurse in an adult locked ward in Australia. I previously worked with youth and adults in mental health wards in Scotland.
I come across anger on a daily basis. Transference and counter transference etc so staff often get angry too and all that goes with that.
Personally I went through a long period of being very irritable which led often to getting angry over very little. Not at work but caused by work stresses and I invariably carried work stress into my home life. I now know this had its roots in anxiety. Catastrophising, negative thought patterns. Also worries about keeping my young family safe etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
My GP started me on a low dose of Sertraline with the recommendation that, if I found it effective, I remain on that medication for as long as I stayed in my job as a mental health nurse. Sertraline did wonders in taking the edge off my anxiety and irritability. Almost overnight. Placebo effect? Possibly but in any event I think it brought me up to a level of normality from where I could tackle my anxiety, irritability and anger using psychological techniques.
As fortune would have it I discovered Stoicism a year or so later after watching Massimo Pigliucci's Ted talk on an introduction to Stoicism. That led me to the modern stoicism website, then Stoic Week, then I completed your SMRT, think like Marcus Aurelius and Socrates courses. I've bought most of your books as well as those written by other stalwarts in the modern stoicism field. Stoic philosophy and psychology felt like a perfect fit for me.
By far the greatest benefit to me of being a ( ongoing work in progress) Stoic practitioner is that I have pretty much curbed my anxiety, irritability and I rarely get angry these days.
Techniques which helped me were the dichotomy of control, trying to see things from the point of view of others, giving up the idea that I have been offended or harmed by what other people do or say to me, reframing how I see another person if they've been rude to me by thinking that these people are fellow mortals with their problems who can't see the error of their ways when they shout and swear at me ( work) or who slight me in some way. I take the "view from above" perspective by thinking about what upsets me in the context of wider space and time and that makes me inevitably realise that whatever might be a cause to anger is really petty, pointless and ultimately insignificant.
I also self realised that the consequences of getting angry actually caused me more problems than the thing that caused me to get angry in the first place. That was before I read about a similar idea in Stoic literature. Seneca I think.
I've also learned to respond to anger directed at me by showing these angry people kindness. This might sound a bit corny but I've discovered that it's very hard for people to be angry at someone who's being kind, respectful and nice to them. It's more than just a trick though. More than just a " life hack". I've found that often the people who are angry at me are usually doing so as a defence mechanism. They've experienced anger and hostility directed at them over a long time and so they've learned to cope by responding in kind. But invariably, the more they are treated with respect and kindness the more they in turn get less angry and more respectful and kind towards others.
I experience anger from others on a daily basis from people who are mentally unwell and lack insight into what they're doing and why. However I also experience anger from people who are angry at me and my work colleagues because they are basically anti social and use me and others as a metaphorical punch bag to express their annoyance and frustration at whatever is going on in their lives.
It's hard to give good nursing care to people who are angry at us, verbally abuse us and often physically assault us. I reckon this is a real time training ground for me to learn, develop and practise strategies to cope with anger directed at me and to prevent me from getting angry myself. It's a hard training ground. It's my gladiatorial arena. I get the opportunity to manage extreme anger in an extreme setting. I've learned successful Stoic strategies to do this, some of which I've mentioned above.
I firmly believe that through the practice of Stoicism and my adoption of key Stoic philosophical and psychological techniques, I've become a much calmer person who has progressed from someone who did get angry regularly to someone who very rarely does so now. I am also able to cope with extreme anger and hostility directed towards me and my work colleagues in a more positive and less harmful way. My workplace is my training ground to practice those techniques which you and others have written about in your books and I think I've managed to successfully do this most of the time.
Without doubt Stoicism has changed my life in various ways. Most notably in how I manage anger directed at me and in how I cope working in a very hostile and angry work environment as well as preventing me from getting angry myself.
I wanted to share my experiences and hope they are of interest to you. The general gist of all this I think is I believe that the practice of Stoicism, Stoic philosophy and Stoic psychology is a very effective antidote to anger. Hopefully the more people adopt a Stoic mindset the less anger there will be in society.
I hope you go on to write your book about the practice of Stoicism as an effective anger management tool and hope that Stoic practice, or Stoic techniques are adopted into the mainstream of therapeutic interventions for anxiety and anger management.
I was once told by a psychiatrist that anger management strategies as taught in the NHS in the UK don't work. Well, I believe those based on Stoic philosophy and psychology do.
I very much look forward to your continued work in this area.
Many thanks.
Best wishes,
Iain Lumsden
Perth, Western Australia
Donald- so happy to hear of this new project for you… and looking forward to your articles, and hopefully a book! As I live in Minneapolis, I recall the shock and sadness of watching our beautiful city burn during the Floyd riots… and wishing that there were other ways to resolve this social anger.. (I also have a fantasy that our president would do a national power point lecture on how to cope with anger… )…anyway, good luck with your project, and godspeed!