Anxiety (fight or flight response) is the much bigger problem. Irritability is frequently mistaken as anger,which is actually anxiety in its fight (Irritability) form. Even in problematic cases of anger, the problem isn't so much the actual anger but the anxiety and/or irritability (again, fight and/or flight) that the person is having due to fear or inexperience with just being angry and choosing how or whether to express it.
Could be. When the question is framed in terms of damage to relationships, though, studies have found that anger tends to be rated worse than anxiety, and damage to relationships may have more serious longer-term consequences.
Anger, for me, is more extreme and painful because it hurts when I let it out and I see red and I let words out that I can’t take back.
In the flip side, anxiety drives up need to grind my teeth and induce migraines.
But, for me, at least I can get out of my own way in the form of logic when you think of my anxiety and stomp out my drama and overwhelm in the form of exercise.
So, I guess, for some of us, who are able to learn how to seek a Wise Mind, and work towards it, and it’s really darn hard, it’s worth it.
But, as for which is more harmful, I personally think it’s six to one, half dozen to the other.
In my perception, anger is worse because, generally, it "overflows" and includes other people around, while anxiety tends to be something more individual, something directed at oneself.
But, in any case, my problem is more likely depression, haha.
This is how I was thinking about the question, too, deciding which was worse based on the number of people injured by a single person's anger vs. anxiety.
The things I regret in my life were born out of anger and did long term harm to myself, my relationships and the other person. I have been anxious from time to time and that was unpleasant but never lasted very long and only damaging for myself. So for me anger causes way more harm.
I voted anger, though anxiety has probably occupied more total hours of my life.
Anxiety makes me rehearse danger. Anger makes me act as if my judgment is already righteous. That is where it has caused more damage for me.
In the men's residential treatment work I do, anger rarely arrives as the problem until consequences have already landed. Anxiety often brings people into help. Anger arrives through court dates, damaged relationships, and closed doors.
For men with addiction, anger disguises itself as strength, justice, honesty, or boundaries. Anxiety usually knows it is suffering. Anger can convince a man he is finally seeing clearly.
Yes, people are much more likely to seek help for anxiety than for anger. There are multiple reasons for that. Like you mention, anger itself tends to bias people in favour of blaming others and justifying their own reactions -- angry people usually feel righteous. We're poor judges of our own anger. That said, when people are asked which emotion does most damage to their relationships, they usually tend to name anger.
While anxiety is harmful, I find it's easier to "control" or hide from others around me. At least when I get angry, it's a very external emotion and can affect others as well
Anxiety maybe more causal but I think being at the receiving end of someone’s anger has been far more damaging. Maybe for the angry person it’s not as harmful.
Maybe anxiety causes more damage to oneself, and anger causes more damage to relationships. Hence, as you mention, it's more likely for people to seek help for anxiety than anger. It's all too obvious when I'm suffering with anxiety, the pain feels so real. Anger feels more in my control, more my choice than anxiety. Like one is a victim of anxiety, but not of anger. Hmm...
In my experience, anxiety can certainly be debilitating, but it is anger that feels like a stone lodged in my psyche, coloring my perception of the world, others, and my options.
I voted 'anger'. My angry thoughts and feelings take up too much of my awareness. I can have negative feelings about the fact I'm angry. When I feel angry with my son that causes me to feel sad. Only rarely do I impulsively act on an angry feeling but the anger is still harming me. I even feel anger towards my neighbour's cat which might be the most pointless anger possible!
Anxiety is awful for a person physiologically. It raises your blood pressure and cortisol levels when your body doesn’t need them. You are sedentary. Those bodily changes are injurious to you and become “chronic stress” because it’s over time—and it was the greatest factor causing my stroke in 2014.
Now anger raises the same, but you are physically changed in stance and ready to fight. Sometimes you just make physical movements, but usually you make irrational decisions which cause more external events in the universe that compound and prolong something that may have been simple to clear.
I chose anger. For me, it's a total loss of control of my mind and my mouth. It can last up to a half hour or so. I've made aware those closest to me that I might bite. That alone has helped soften the blow that rage can wield. It even opened the door for a bit of humor. "So, the bitch turns into a witch", said by close friend as I was screaming. I laughed! I kept on screaming but it changed something. Because of their understanding, I feel I have gained some control back over my anger.
Most of the times I have been angry in my life, anxiety was the catalyst.
Yes, that's true, that's one way of looking at it, although it could also be that anger, in turn, causes anxiety, or leads to other problems.
Anxiety (fight or flight response) is the much bigger problem. Irritability is frequently mistaken as anger,which is actually anxiety in its fight (Irritability) form. Even in problematic cases of anger, the problem isn't so much the actual anger but the anxiety and/or irritability (again, fight and/or flight) that the person is having due to fear or inexperience with just being angry and choosing how or whether to express it.
Could be. When the question is framed in terms of damage to relationships, though, studies have found that anger tends to be rated worse than anxiety, and damage to relationships may have more serious longer-term consequences.
I think anxiety is more likely to hinder action; anger, in the other hand, often causes one to do things that become a cause for regret
"Anger is the shortest path to a grave mistake."
Hmm that’s an interesting concept to question.
Anger, for me, is more extreme and painful because it hurts when I let it out and I see red and I let words out that I can’t take back.
In the flip side, anxiety drives up need to grind my teeth and induce migraines.
But, for me, at least I can get out of my own way in the form of logic when you think of my anxiety and stomp out my drama and overwhelm in the form of exercise.
So, I guess, for some of us, who are able to learn how to seek a Wise Mind, and work towards it, and it’s really darn hard, it’s worth it.
But, as for which is more harmful, I personally think it’s six to one, half dozen to the other.
In my perception, anger is worse because, generally, it "overflows" and includes other people around, while anxiety tends to be something more individual, something directed at oneself.
But, in any case, my problem is more likely depression, haha.
This is how I was thinking about the question, too, deciding which was worse based on the number of people injured by a single person's anger vs. anxiety.
The things I regret in my life were born out of anger and did long term harm to myself, my relationships and the other person. I have been anxious from time to time and that was unpleasant but never lasted very long and only damaging for myself. So for me anger causes way more harm.
I voted anger, though anxiety has probably occupied more total hours of my life.
Anxiety makes me rehearse danger. Anger makes me act as if my judgment is already righteous. That is where it has caused more damage for me.
In the men's residential treatment work I do, anger rarely arrives as the problem until consequences have already landed. Anxiety often brings people into help. Anger arrives through court dates, damaged relationships, and closed doors.
For men with addiction, anger disguises itself as strength, justice, honesty, or boundaries. Anxiety usually knows it is suffering. Anger can convince a man he is finally seeing clearly.
Yes, people are much more likely to seek help for anxiety than for anger. There are multiple reasons for that. Like you mention, anger itself tends to bias people in favour of blaming others and justifying their own reactions -- angry people usually feel righteous. We're poor judges of our own anger. That said, when people are asked which emotion does most damage to their relationships, they usually tend to name anger.
That makes sense. The relationship piece may be where anger exposes itself most clearly.
The angry person can still be litigating whether he was justified while everyone around him is already living with the cost.
That is the shift I see in treatment: not “Was I right?” but “What did my reaction build?”
A man can win the argument in his own head and still leave wreckage in the room.
While anxiety is harmful, I find it's easier to "control" or hide from others around me. At least when I get angry, it's a very external emotion and can affect others as well
Which has caused more harm in your own life? 1) Anxiety or 2) Anger
I choose...
3) Yes
Anxiety maybe more causal but I think being at the receiving end of someone’s anger has been far more damaging. Maybe for the angry person it’s not as harmful.
Maybe anxiety causes more damage to oneself, and anger causes more damage to relationships. Hence, as you mention, it's more likely for people to seek help for anxiety than anger. It's all too obvious when I'm suffering with anxiety, the pain feels so real. Anger feels more in my control, more my choice than anxiety. Like one is a victim of anxiety, but not of anger. Hmm...
In my experience, anxiety can certainly be debilitating, but it is anger that feels like a stone lodged in my psyche, coloring my perception of the world, others, and my options.
I voted 'anger'. My angry thoughts and feelings take up too much of my awareness. I can have negative feelings about the fact I'm angry. When I feel angry with my son that causes me to feel sad. Only rarely do I impulsively act on an angry feeling but the anger is still harming me. I even feel anger towards my neighbour's cat which might be the most pointless anger possible!
Two deadly words. Now my two cents.
Anxiety is awful for a person physiologically. It raises your blood pressure and cortisol levels when your body doesn’t need them. You are sedentary. Those bodily changes are injurious to you and become “chronic stress” because it’s over time—and it was the greatest factor causing my stroke in 2014.
Now anger raises the same, but you are physically changed in stance and ready to fight. Sometimes you just make physical movements, but usually you make irrational decisions which cause more external events in the universe that compound and prolong something that may have been simple to clear.
Reason and rest are what the mind needs.
I made myself angry for at least 30 years
I chose anger. For me, it's a total loss of control of my mind and my mouth. It can last up to a half hour or so. I've made aware those closest to me that I might bite. That alone has helped soften the blow that rage can wield. It even opened the door for a bit of humor. "So, the bitch turns into a witch", said by close friend as I was screaming. I laughed! I kept on screaming but it changed something. Because of their understanding, I feel I have gained some control back over my anger.