When you do a thing which you have made up your mind ought to be done, never try not to be seen doing it, even though most people are likely to think unfavourably about it. If, however, what you are doing is not right, avoid the deed itself altogether; but if it is right, why fear those who are going to rebuke you wrongly?

Commentary

Marcus Aurelius likewise says that we should do nothing that we should be ashamed to admit in public.

Never value anything as profitable to yourself which shall compel you to break your promise, to lose your self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to behave hypocritically, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains. — Meditations, 3.7

This sounds rather like something a Cynic philosopher might have said, perhaps. For Stoics as well, though, what matters most is simply whether an action is virtuous or not, and how others respond is ultimately indifferent.

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When you get an external impression of some pleasure, guard yourself, as with impressions in general, against being carried away by it; nay, let the matter wait upon your leisure, and give yourself a little delay. Next think of the two periods of time, first, that in which you will enjoy your pleasure, and second, that in which, after the enjoyment is over, you will later repent and revile your own self; and set over against these two periods of time how much joy and self-satisfaction you will get if you refrain. However, if you feel that a suitable occasion has arisen to do the deed, be careful not to allow its enticement, and sweetness, and attractiveness to overcome you; but set over against all this the thought, how much better is the consciousness of having won a victory over it.

Commentary

This is an important psychological strategy in Stoicism. In response to troubling impressions generally, strong emotions and desires, we should postpone our response until our feelings have naturally abated.

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If someone brings you word that So-and-so is speaking ill of you, do not defend yourself against what has been said, but answer, “Yes, indeed, for he did not know the rest of the faults that attach to me; if he had, these would not have been the only ones he mentioned.”

Commentary 1

This seems like an example of humour, although making a serious point. We shouldn’t be concerned about people criticizing us. We should remind ourselves that we have many other flaws. Marcus Aurelius lists a similar strategy for coping with anger: reminding himself that he is imperfect himself and has many flaws and perhaps given the opportunity would make the same mistakes as the person he’s angry with. It’s also an example of the Stoics practicing Socratic irony, or intellectual humility, by emphasizing their own fallibility and imperfection.

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Lay down for yourself, at the outset, a certain stamp and type of character, which you are to maintain whether you are by yourself or are meeting with people. And be silent for the most part, or else make only the most necessary remarks, and express these in few words. But rarely, and when occasion requires you to talk, talk, indeed, but about no ordinary topics. Do not talk about gladiators, or horse-races, or athletes, or things to eat or drink—topics that arise on all occasions; but above all, do not talk about people, either blaming, or praising, or comparing them. If, then, you can, by your own conversation bring over that of your companions to what is seemly. But if you happen to be left alone in the presence of strangers, keep silence.

Commentary 1

We should make it our goal in life to have a virtuous character, which is maintained consistently. We should be wary of being diverted from our path by idle chit-chat (which today we’d surely compare to social media). In particular, Epictetus says that his students should generally avoid superficially praising, criticizing or comparing other people. (Although, he obviously thinks that more considered praise of virtue and criticism of vice do have their place, as he does this all the time.)

The goal of Stoicism was “living in agreement with nature”, which means, in part, keeping our thoughts and words consistent with objective reality. Most ordinary conversation involves expressing value judgements about events and other people, though. For the Stoics, the influence of other people in this regard was one of the main explanations for the corruption of our character. They encourage us to inhabit a world of values contrary to nature.

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When you have recourse to divination, remember that you do not know what the issue is going to be, but that you have come in order to find this out from the diviner; yet if you are indeed a philosopher, you know, when you arrive, what the nature of it is. For if it is one of the things which are not under our control, it is altogether necessary that what is going to take place is neither good nor evil.

We find a similar theme in other Stoic writings. Divination can only reveal externals, which are neither good nor bad, and what matters is how we respond to our Fate.

Do not, therefore, bring to the diviner desire or aversion, and do not approach him with trembling, but having first made up your mind that every issue is indifferent and nothing to you, but that, whatever it may be, it will be possible for you to turn it to good use, and that no one will prevent this.

It may be appropriate to consult diviners as a last resort.

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In piety towards the gods, I would have you know, the chief element is this, to have right opinions about them—as existing and as administering the universe well and justly—and to have set yourself to obey them and to submit to everything that happens, and to follow it voluntarily, in the belief that it is being fulfilled by the highest intelligence. For if you act in this way, you will never blame the gods, nor find fault with them for neglecting you.

This mirrors the twofold cognitive conceptualization of Stoic ethics attributed to Chrysippus, who said that it consists of one judgment regarding events and another about appropriate action in response to them.

But this result cannot be secured in any other way than by withdrawing your idea of the good and the evil from the things which are not under our control, and placing it in those which are under our control, and in those alone. Because, if you think any of those former things to be good or evil, then, when you fail to get what you want and fall into what you do not want, it is altogether inevitable that you will blame and hate those who are responsible for these results.

We are bound to feel frustrated eventually when we invest absolute intrinsic value in external outcomes, rather than in our own ruling faculty, because external events are not up to us. We doom ourselves to become resentful and angry toward the universe, unless we view external events lightly.

For this is the nature of every living creature, to flee from and to turn aside from the things that appear harmful, and all that produces them, and to pursue after and to admire the things that are helpful, and all that produces them. Therefore, it is impossible for a man who thinks that he is being hurt to take pleasure in that which he thinks is hurting him, just as it is also impossible for him to take pleasure in the hurt itself. Hence it follows that even a father is reviled by a son when he does not give his child some share in the things that seem to be good; and this it was which made Polyneices and Eteocles enemies of one another, the thought that the royal power was a good thing.

How could we not hate the gods, or hate the universe, as long as we invest absolute value in things that are bound to be denied us eventually?

That is why the farmer reviles the gods, and so also the sailor, and the merchant, and those who have lost their wives and their children. For where a man’s interest lies, there is also his piety. Wherefore, whoever is careful to exercise desire and aversion as he should, is at the same time careful also about piety. But it is always appropriate to make libations, and sacrifices, and to give of the first fruits after the manner of our fathers, and to do all this with purity, and not in a slovenly or careless fashion, nor, indeed, in a niggardly way, nor yet beyond our means.

Epictetus could also have said that we naturally focus our attention where our interests are invested, or threatened. So we live outside of ourselves, insofar as we confuse our good with external events.

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Our duties are in general measured by our social relationships. He is a father. One is called upon to take care of him, to give way to him in all things, to submit when he reviles or strikes you. “But he is a bad father.” Did nature, then, bring you into relationship with a good father? No, but simply with a father. “My brother does me wrong.” Very well, then, maintain the relation that you have toward him; and do not consider what he is doing, but what you will have to do, if your moral purpose is to be in harmony with nature. For no one will harm you without your consent; you will have been harmed only when you think you are harmed. In this way, therefore, you will discover what duty to expect of your neighbour, your citizen, your commanding officer, if you acquire the habit of looking at your social relations with them.

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In the same way, when some people have seen a philosopher and have heard someone speaking like Euphrates (though, indeed, who can speak like him?), they wish to be philosophers themselves.

Euphrates was a Stoic renowned for his eloquence, perhaps a student along with Epictetus of Musonius Rufus. (He’s also mentioned in passing, with admiration, by Marcus Aurelius.)

Man, consider first the nature of the business, and then learn your own natural ability, if you are able to bear it. Do you wish to be a contender in the pentathlon, or a wrestler? Look to your arms, your thighs, see what your loins are like. For one man has a natural talent for one thing, another for another. Do you suppose that you can eat in the same fashion, drink in the same fashion, give way to impulse and to irritation, just as you do now? You must keep vigils, work hard, abandon your own people, be despised by a paltry slave, be laughed to scorn by those who meet you, in everything get the worst of it, in honour, in office, in court, in every paltry affair.

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In each separate thing that you do, consider the matters which come first and those which follow after, and only then approach the thing itself. Otherwise, at the start you will come to it enthusiastically, because you have never reflected upon any of the subsequent steps, but later on, when some difficulties appear, you will give up disgracefully.

We should consider the steps involved in achieving our goals. It’s often the case that people focus on their long-term goals without fully considering the effort, sacrifice, tenacity, and patience, required to achieve them. We want to enjoy the victories without fighting the battles.

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If someone handed over your body to any person who met you, you would be vexed; but that you hand over your mind to any person that comes along, so that, if he reviles you, it is disturbed and troubled – are you not ashamed of that?

Commentary

When we’re overly-concerned about insults, our reputation, or what others think of us in general, Epictetus says we’re handing over our minds to them. For the Stoics, this is a form of slavery to our own passions and to externals. Others have power over us, ultimately, if we care too much about our property or reputation, because these are never entirely under our control, and they are often, at least in part, under the control of other people — meaning that others always have “leverage” over someone who invests unconditional value in external goods.

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Just as a mark is not set up in order to be missed, so neither does the nature of evil arise in the universe.

Commentary

The Stoics believed that the universe was created by Providence and that nothing in nature could therefore be evil when considered in relation to the whole because everything exists by the Will of God. Nothing Providence does is in error, so nothing that is part of the natural order can be evil. Epictetus here leaves open the question of how evil can arise in human nature. His point is that we should view events that befall us as God’s Will and therefore as incapable of being intrinsically bad. What matters is the use we make of events, for good or bad.

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What the will of nature is may be learned from a consideration of the points in which we do not differ from one another. For example, when some other person’s slave-boy breaks his drinking-cup, you are instantly ready to say, “That’s one of the things which happen.” Rest assured, then, that when your own drinking-cup gets broken, you ought to behave in the same way that you do when the other man’s cup is broken. Apply now the same principle to the matters of greater importance. Some other person’s child or wife has died; no one but would say, “Such is the fate of man.” Yet when a man’s own child dies, immediately the cry is, “Alas! Woe is me!” But we ought to remember how we feel when we hear of the same misfortune befalling others.

Commentary

This is similar to what’s called the double-standards strategy in cognitive therapy, where we ask individuals to consider whether they may be judging themselves differently than they would judge others, or applying a different rule to themselves than to others.

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Has someone been honoured above you at a dinner-party, or in salutation, or in being called in to give advice? Now if these matters are good, you ought to be happy that he got them; but if evil, be not distressed because you did not get them; and bear in mind that, if you do not act the same way that others do, with a view to getting things which are not under our control, you cannot be considered worthy to receive an equal share with others.

In this lengthy passage, which I’ll divide up for convenience, Epictetus confronts his students bluntly with the realization that unless they place a great deal of value on climbing the social ladder, or accumulating wealth, they should not be surprised if others do better than them in this regard. In other words, if you prioritize wisdom, you’re bound to “lose out” in some regards, if you compare yourself to people who dedicate their lives to acquiring status or material possessions.

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Let not these reflections oppress you: “I shall live without honour, and be nobody anywhere.” For, if lack of honour is an evil, you cannot be in evil through the instrumentality of some other person, any more than you can be in shame. It is not your business, is it, to get office, or to be invited to a dinner-party? Certainly not. How, then, can this be any longer a lack of honour? And how is it that you will be “nobody anywhere,” when you ought to be somebody only in those things which are under your control, wherein you are privileged to be a man of the very greatest honour?

As this is one of the longest passages in the Handbook, I’ll split it up, and intersperse some initial comments. Epictetus opens by challenging our ambition and the desire for status and reputation, which characterized many Romans.

But your friends will be without assistance? What do you mean by being “without assistance”? They will not have paltry coin from you, and you will not make them Roman citizens. Well, who told you that these are some of the matters under our control, and not rather things which others do? And who is able to give another what he does not himself have? “Get money, then,” says some friend, “in order that we too may have it.” If I can get money and at the same time keep myself self-respecting, and faithful, and high-minded, show me the way and I will get it. But if you require me to lose the good things that belong to me, in order that you may acquire the things that are not good, you can see for yourselves how unfair and inconsiderate you are. And which do you really prefer? Money, or a faithful and self-respecting friend? Help me, therefore, rather to this end, and do not require me to do those things which will make me lose these qualities.

We are too ready to think of helping others in terms of material wealth and not, like Epictetus himself, to think of helping them by being a good person, and a good friend.

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If it should ever happen to you that you turn to externals with a view to pleasing someone, rest assured that you have lost your plan of life. Be content, therefore, in everything to be a philosopher, and if you wish also to be taken for one, show to yourself that you are one, and you will be able to accomplish it.

Commentary

This passage clearly follows on from the theme of the previous one: what it means to become wise. If you ever find that you’ve become preoccupied with external things, such as wealth or reputation, because you’re trying to please someone else then realize that you have turned your back on philosophy. Just focus on the pursuit of wisdom.

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If you yearn for philosophy, prepare at once to be met with ridicule, to have many people jeer at you, and say, “Here he is again, turned philosopher all of a sudden,” and “Where do you suppose he got that high brow?” But do you not put on a high brow, and do you so hold fast to the things which to you seem best, as a man who has been assigned by God to this post; and remember that if you abide by the same principles, those who formerly used to laugh at you will later come to admire you, but if you are worsted by them, you will get the laugh on yourself twice.

Commentary

Epictetus tends to portray becoming a philosopher in all or nothing terms. If you are serious about becoming a philosopher, a true lover of wisdom, you should assume that people are going to ridicule you for doing so. They’ll accuse you of being insincere, pretentious, and a phoney. You have to be ready to ignore them and do what seems right to you regardless, as though you’re answering a calling from God.

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Keep before your eyes day by day death and exile, and everything that seems terrible, but most of all death; and then you will never have any abject thought, nor will you yearn for anything beyond measure.

Commentary

This seems to be a clear reference to the famous Stoic practice, which Seneca called praemeditatio malorum, in Latin, or the premeditation of adversity. In Greek, this was apparently called proendemein, which basically means “dwelling on something in advance”. Epictetus clearly recommended this to students as a daily Stoic contemplative practice. We’re regularly to picture things like death, exile, and anything that we consider catastrophic, but especially our own death.

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Bear in mind that it is not the man who insults or strikes you that offends you, but it is your judgement that these men are offending you. Therefore, when someone irritates you, be assured that it is your own opinion which has irritated you. And so make it your first endeavour not to be carried away by the external impression; for if once you gain time and delay, you will more easily become master of yourself.

Commentary

It is not insults that upset us but our judgments about them. This is a specific application of the basic formula we met in passage #5: “It’s not things that upset us but our judgements about them.” Here Epictetus reminds us that this applies to insults. They only really become “insulting” if we choose to view them as important. Our irritation, or offence, comes from our own opinion about what was said or done.

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You can be invincible if you never enter a contest in which victory is not under your control. Beware lest, when you see some person preferred to you in honor, or possessing great power, or otherwise enjoying high repute, you are ever carried away by the external impression, and deem him happy. For if the true nature of the good is one of the things that are under our control, there is no place for either envy or jealousy; and you yourself will not wish to be a praetor, or a senator, or a consul, but a free man. Now there is but one way that leads to this, and that is to despise the things that are not under our control.

Commentary

You can be undefeated if you only engage in contests where victory is within your power, in other words. When you see someone being honored by others or possessing great power, be cautious once again not to let your initial impression sweep you along with it, into assuming he is fortunate, but pause for thought. Don’t, in other words, allow yourself to assume that the things the majority of people crave necessarily make them fulfilled in life.

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When a raven croaks inauspiciously, let not the external impression carry you away, but straightway draw a distinction in your own mind, and say, “None of these portents are for me, but either for my paltry body, or my paltry estate, or my paltry opinion, or my children, or my wife. But for me every portent is favourable, if I so wish; for whatever be the outcome, it is within my power to derive benefit from it.”

Commentary

When you hear bad news do not allow yourself to be swept away by your initial impression of alarm but rather pause and take a step back from your thoughts and feelings. Immediately make a distinction between the events that befall you and your responses to them.

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